Why Geeks Are Sexy

By Fiona Wilde

My column today is about the sexiest guys I know.

Now, I know right now some of you are pulling up the sleeve of your t-shirt, kissing your bulging bicep and thinking, “She’s about to talk about men like me.”

Sorry, but nope.

To some women the sexy man is not the buff, athletic guy with the winning smile. It’s the fellow you’d least expect – the Geek, the Nerd – that average, slightly awkward but well-read guy who is familiar with each incarnation of Doctor Who, can rattle off the superpower and weakness of every Marvel superhero and knows exactly what you mean if you tell him The Cake is a Lie.

For more and more women, brainy is the new sexy.

Oh, you can laugh all you want. But while you’re making fun of grown men hunched over the table playing Dungeons and Dragons in the back room of a comic book store, your woman may be eyeing that IT guy at work and fantasizing about getting a little of his hard drive.

For some women, when we say size matters, we’re talking about the brain, and if your woman is a sapiosexual, your muscles are no match for intelligence that can deal fifty damage to her fidelity.

Sorry.

A few weekends ago, I went with my best guy friend to a Renaissance Festival. Prior to the event, another of my friends joked about this being the lamest thing ever. I set him straight.

“RennFaires are incredibly sexy,” I told him. “The whole place is one big nerdgasm. If you can’t get laid at a RennFaire, then you might as well just kill yourself.”

I don’t think he believed me, but that’s only because he’s never been to a RennFaire, where women in tight bodices are ready to fall on the sword of any guy with enough imagination to strap on a suit of armor and show up.

Geeks love roleplaying, and if you think it’s weird that your girlfriend wants to dress up as Catwoman, or even as an actual cat, as part of a sex game – be warned. Out there is some nerd who will be happy to have her increase his hit points.

Geeks are competitive. They’re not satisfied until the quest has been completed. They start with foreplay and just keep leveling up until the Orgasm. Geeks have a lot of imagination and gamer geeks, especially, have loads experience pushing the right buttons. For the latter, it’s not Game Over until she’s hotter that the fires of Mordor and screaming like Cthulhu.

And here’s the best part. Even when sex-loving Geeks aren’t having sex with actual people, they are honing their mad skills in the virtual realm. You haven’t partied until you’ve been to the BDSM sex club in Saints Row, or the brothel in Witcher II.

And even in games where the brothels are relatively tame, gamers have made mods (short for modification) to sex things up:

It’s not like this is new. Gaming has always been full of eager females, and they aren’t all like Princess Peach who stands around waiting to get saved. Miss Pacman has always been a game slut; nobody swallowed like she did.

So Beware the Nerds, guys, and discount their power at your own risk. If you’re just relying on muscle to keep her, you might want to start building up that brain. Or else it could be Game Over for you.

Copyright © 2013 Fiona Wilde • All International Rights Reserved You may not distribute or reprint this article, in whole or in part, without express permission from Sssh.Com